She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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