Buhtt sex?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
