I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need water and some morals
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
