My Higher Power is John Stamos
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
