In America we eat man semen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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