My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
