I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
