Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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