I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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