Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you never un-have a 4some
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
