Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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