names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
