Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
