How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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