I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
