How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
