yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
