did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
