i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize