Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
