Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I enjoy the company of your penis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
