the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
