Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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