If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
