covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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