i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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