I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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