He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
