he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
bring money and cleavage
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize