You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
