I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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