I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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