he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
