Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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