I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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