a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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