Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
