i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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