Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
