Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
