I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
