Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
