he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
