best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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