I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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