11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
