You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
