try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
