We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
