the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
