is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
