I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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