I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
