Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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