i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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