Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
false alarm, still single
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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