UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
