Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
