yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
