you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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