so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
