Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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