Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I will die if light touches me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
