All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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